


In The Name Of Love

by WeasleyPotterKings



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aurors, M/M, Multi, Potions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2018-12-10 06:03:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11685582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeasleyPotterKings/pseuds/WeasleyPotterKings
Summary: For years, they were together, through ups and downs, life and death, friendship and love. They would do anything for one another, lovingly and selflessly.So, when Ron saw that Harry was losing hope to get the one thing he really wants, he'll do anything he could to give it to him.Even if it could possibly kill him.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So, I was playing with this idea for a long, long time and finally I was able to get it together and shape it up. 
> 
>  
> 
> Warning: I don't need mention that this story includes a same-sex relationship, right? Because it does. mpreg, angst, and selfless!Ron

The sunlight streamed through the not closed properly curtains, falling on the bed where two bodies where laying, intertwined. The light hit the man with messy black hair in the face, making him screw up his face, grump and mumble incoherently about 'git, closed properly, sleeps like the dead'

He opened his eyes to reveal bright green, sleepy eyes, turning his head to stare at the other body on the bed. An easy smile took over his features, all the grumpiness from earlier forgotten, as he stared at the redheaded man next to him who was snoring softly. Involuntarily, his hand reached out the brush the hair off the freckled face, making the sleeping man lean closer to the touch. The smile widened on the messy headed man's face.

A few minutes was spent staring the redheaded man's relaxed face before Harry decided to finally get up. He kissed the pouting lips softly before getting up and quietly leaving the room.

XxXxX

Harry was on the kitchen preparing breakfast when he felt the freckled arms of his partner hug him from behind.

"Mornin'" Ron's voice was raspy from sleep as he spook in a quiet voice near Harry's ear, kissing him there. "Smelling good,"

"I haven't showered yet,"

"The food, not you," He kissed the shorter man's lips, stole a slice of bacon, then sat down with a playful smile on his face. Harry rolled his eyes and turned to the frying pan again so Ron won't see his smile.

"George and Angelina are bringing little Roxanne home today," said Ron, watching Harry closely. Indeed, his back tensed for a second before relaxing again as he turned to Ron was a big smile on his face.

"It's ace, isn't it?" He was putting the food into the plates, "They must be-"

"Harry, you don't need to pretend, it's just me," Ron said sadly, getting up and pulling the other man closer to him, "I know what you're thinking,"

"I'm happy for them, I swear I am," He leaned his head on the taller man's shoulder, inhaling his scent in, letting it calm him. For some time, they just stood there, lost in their thoughts while holding each other.

Suddenly, Ron pulled away and looked at bespectacled green eyes, "It's all my fault,"

Harry glared up at him, pushing his arms away, "Not fucking again, Ron!"

"I can't give you the thing you want most!"

"Neither can I! Don't think for one second that I don't know how much you want a baby, I saw how you look at your nieces and nephews," Harry took a step back, eyes angry, "The difference between us is that you don't mind adopting or a surrogate, while I am-" He stopped, suddenly looking exhausted, "Merlin, Ron, I know that we can have a baby half-Potter, half-Weasley, it just won't be, it won't be half-you," The last word was spoken so softly, Ron almost missed it.

But he didn't, and not for the first time, his felt his heart breaking. They've been having this argument for two years, two years full of the heartache of watching everyone they know have a baby, families growing, the Burrow getting more and more crowded each passing year, both of them being torn between being happy for the people they love and wanting to have a family of their own.

And Harry wasn't wrong. Ron didn't have a problem with adopting or surrogate, he didn't really care that the baby would be, technically, not his. But that doesn't really matter, because it would be Harry's and that was enough for him. He would love the baby regardless.

But Harry. Harry simply just refused. Turning it down every time someone brought it up, never saying why he was so much against the idea.

Until now.

"Harry," Ron's voice cracked, and he took a step closer to the man before him.

"I know it's stupid and impossible, I know, honestly!" He took another step back away from the redheaded man, "I know that I'd love the baby anyway, but I just want to hold a baby and see both of us, literally and figuratively, but it's just not going to happen and I can't accept it! Why can't I accept it, Ron? Why is it so hard?" There were tears running down his face as he screamed the last sentence. Ron took a step to close the distance between them and pulled Harry tightly to him, holding him close as he tried to hold back the tears, but they just won't stop.

"Breakfast's cold," Harry said playfully, after a few minutes passed, pulling away and looking up at Ron, "What a morning, huh?" He spoke in a falsely cheerful voice that Ron almost winced. He gave the taller man a small smile and kissed him softly before turning back to their food, only to feel himself being pulled back again.

"I'll find something, I promise you I'll,"

"Ron,"

"I fucking will, Harry," His voice was full of determination, Harry almost actually believed him. "I love you, just remember that,"

"How could I forget?" A real smile finally took over his face, "I love you, too."

XxXxX

It was five in the afternoon when Hermione entered Hog's Head. Her eyes scanned the place until they fell on the person she was looking for. A sigh escaped her lips at the look at on his face.

Misery. Pure misery.

She walked over to where he was sitting, the far away corner, pulling out the chair and sitting down.

"So," She started softly, not to startle him. He looked up at her in surprise, he must have been so lost in his thoughts.

"Hey," She took hold of one of his hands that were resting the tabletop, "You're scaring me,"

"Harry told me why," He swallowed thickly, "Why he was always against a surrogate,"

"Oh," She said softly, "And?"

"I need your help," He pulled her hand closer, holding it with both his hands, his eyes begging her to accept whatever he was about to ask her for,

"Ron, you know that I would do everything I can to help you,"

He gave her a single nod and bent down his head to kiss her hand. Looking up again, he stared right at her eyes, "We need to find a spell or potion to get a man pregnant,"

XxXxX

"You must have lost your mind!"

Hermione was pacing the living room of her flat, her hair looking even messier than usual. They Disapparated from Hog's Head when Hermione started to raise her voice, fearing someone was going to overhear them.

Ron was sitting on the couch, his eyes following her,

"Hermione, you're making me dizzy!"

"Imagine a baby!" She threw back at him, eyes furious. He glared at her for a good minute until she sighed and sat down next to him, "I don't think you quite understand what you're getting yourself into,"

"Maybe not, but you'll explain it to me, and I will get it," He turned to look at her, one leg tucked under him, "I need to do this for him,"

"Ron, this is bordering on insanity," She grabbed both his hands in hers, "Please, think about it some more, you need more time to think, there's a reason why men don't do this"

"I know that. I'll think about it along the way, while we do the research, or to be more honest, while you research and I sit uselessly next to you," He gave her his lopsided grin, trying to lighten the mood,

"Ron."

His smile faded, a serious look took over his face, "I really need your help. I can't do it without you, and I need to do this for him,"

"I don't like it,"

"But?"

She sighed before giving a small nod. Ron whooped and pulled her into his arms in a hug.

And really, who could not smile at that?

XxXxX

It was a week until Harry's twenty seventh, they were going to celebrate at the Burrow. After years of planning surprise parties and get togethers, it was clear that Harry was the happiest while being surrounds by his family, as they eat Mrs Weasley's food and joke around.

Currently, Harry, Ron and Hermione was sitting on the couch of Hermione's flat, eating the ordered pizza and watching the telly, which, even after all these years, Ron still find astounding.

They sat in silence, eyes on the screen, eating their pizza. Looking at her side, Hermione found Harry still looking at the telly while Ron was looking at her pointedly. She gave him a nod before standing up,

"Do any of you need anything to drink?"

Harry shook his head, while Ron got up, "Let me see what do you have,"

They walked to the kitchen, made sure Harry was preoccupied with what he was watching before turning to each other, speaking in hushed tones.

"So?" He asked hopefully,

She took a deep breath, "Well, I can't tell you everything right now, but there's this potion-"

"Hermione, that's-"

"Don't. You haven't heard everything about it yet," She said firmly, "It's too dangerous,"

"Well, we'd have to just be careful,"

"Ron," She started softly, "I don't think you quite understand me, it's dangerous! More than you could imagine!"

His face fell for a second before he gave her a weak smile, "We'll talk about it tomorrow,"

"Ron-"

"We'll talk about it tomorrow in details, I promise, but right now we need to get our drinks and go finish The film," He looked at her for a second before hugging her and kissing her forehead, "Thank you so much,"

"I just want you to be careful, Ron. What you're doing is selfless and noble, but-"

"Not now," He pulled away, grabbed three beers then looked at her, "Come on,"

"Harry said he doesn't want,"

"Oh, he does. He just wasn't paying attention,"

She raised her eyebrow at him and took her bottle from his hand before they walked out of the kitchen and back in the living room where they sat on either side of Harry.

"I was about to send a search party," He took the bottle Ron was offering him, "Cheers,"

Hermione watched them for a moment, noticing the look Ron gave Harry as he turned back to the TV. A sigh escaped her lips, thinking about the potion, they should talk tomorrow, he needs to understand what he's putting himself in.

Because right now, he's only thinking about Harry.

Typical Ron.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not intend for this chapter to be this long, but things happen. Enjoy!

Ron and Hermione were sitting on her kitchen table, which was cover in large, ancient books and files.

Ron looked like he was ready to walk, or run, himself through a wall. Gladly.

"Oh Ron, you don't need to be so eager," Hermione was glaring at him over the huge volume in her hands.

He gave her a sheepish look, "Sorry, it's just-"

"Too much?"

"Yeah, that." He looked at the completely covered tabletop, "But I need to-"

"You don't need to do anything, okay? You're under absolutely no obligation to do any of this! You need to understand this, Ronald Weasley, if you don't want to do this, then don't! No one will hold it over your head because it's not something against you. So no, you don't need to do this."

By the end of her speech, she was breathless and red-faced. The volume that was in her hands was now lying on floor, as she had slammed both fists on the table.

"No, you don't understand," Ron stood up, looking down at her with angry eyes, "You just don't get it, do you? We both want it, we want a family more than anything, and he can't have the family he wants-"

"He can!" She stood up too, hair all over the place,

"But he fucking doesn't want! Okay? He deserves to have one good thing,"

"He has you, Ron!"

"I can't give him the children he wants, Hermione!"

"Because what he wants is unreasonable. He knew when you two got together that this is not possible, he knew, if he wanted that he should've chosen a woman!"

Ron's face flushed an ugly shade of red, his whole body shaking with fury. "Hermione," His voice was low and dangerous, and Hermione fell back to her seat, burying her face in her hands, shaking.

"There is a seventy percent chance you won't make it out the pregnancy healthy and a forty percent chance you won't make it at all," She looked up at him, tears running down her face "I don't think Harry wants to lose you, Ron, and neither do I."

His face soften at her words and tears. Walking over to her side, he knelt before her, holding her small face in his large hands, "But there's a chance I'll make it out all right,"

"A very small chance,"

"But a chance, nonetheless. And anyway, the odds are always at your favor, don't you think?"

They stared at each other in silence, communicating without saying a word. Finally, Hermione gave a small nod and pulled away. Ron stood up and walked back to his seat.

"Surprising, the potion is not that hard to make," She started, eyes fixed on the volume before her that she just picked up, "The ingredients could be easily found, after brewing it takes five days to stew before usage, should be very delicately made because any mistake and it would go horribly wrong,"

"Well, we don't need to worry about that since you're the one brewing it,"

"The dangerous part comes next," She completely ignored him, going on as if he didn't say a word, "You would start to take a dose every morning for a week, the potion would form a female reproductive system,"

"Er, even a birthing canal?"

"Yes."

" But that wouldn't be necessary, can't they take the baby out by cutting me open, like they did with Audrey?"

"A caesarean section."

"Yeah, that,"

"Well, you could have one if you want, but a birthing canal is going to be formed either way,"

"So, I can push the baby out?"

"Yes."

"Fuck."

"Exactly."

They were quiet for some time, in which Ron was becoming alarmingly pale in an alarming speed.

"I'm not done yet,"

"Yes, please, don't hold back,"

She gave him a dirty look, "After you take the seven doses, the change will start. You'll experience extreme pain while the change to your internals occurs for at least a week,"

"I take it back, hold back, Hermione,"

"After the week passes," Once again she ignored him, "You should check with the healer to make sure everything's all right, then you can start trying for the baby,"

"I'm sensing a but,"

She looked up at him, eyes regretful, "But," she started, "There's only a fifty percent chance it would work, and after a month, the effects of the potion on your body would disappear if you were unable to conceive,"

"And?"

"You can't try again, or it'll kill you immediately,"

"Oh," was what came out of his mouth as his face fell, it was harder than he thought it would be,

"But, of course, Harry could-"

"No." He spoke sharply, "Harry could not and would not,"

"Ron, try to be a little more reasonable,"

"I won't let him do it!"

"Then what makes you think he would let you?"

"Because I won't tell him."

Hermione stood up so quickly her world blackened for a second as she swayed on her spot. Once she came back to herself, she was full on screaming at the redhead before her, "You've got to be kidding me?!"

-"I'm not,"

-"If you think that I would let you do that, then you better think again, Ronald Weasley!" Her eyes were more furious more than ever seen, "I just told you the danger you're putting yourself in, the pain you'll feel, the disappointment you may face, and you don't want to tell Harry? Do you realize how unfair that is? Do you realize that one day you could die and then he would discover it was because of what he wanted? Can you imagine what it would do to him to think he caused your death? Do you understand?"

"If he knows he won't let me do it,"

"As he should!"

"I want to do it, Hermione," He said softly, "Please, don't say anything to him, and I promise you I'll tell him at the right time,"

"When would that be, may I ask?"

"I would let you know,"

She looked at him pointedly as she sat down again,

"If we get the ingredients tomorrow and all went well, the potion would be ready by Harry's birthday,"

"Ron-"

"Hermione,"

She took a deep breath and shook her head. Trying to reason with a brick wall would be much easier. Of that, she was sure.

XxXxX

Harry fell back on the couch, put his legs up on the table, sighing tiredly.

"I hate my job," He deadpanned,

"No, you don't," Ron took his Auror ropes off while toeing his boots off, "Shoes off table, you git,"

Harry rolled his eyes but did as he was told, "You're spending too much time with Hermione, you're slowly turning into her,"

"It was bound to happen," He sat next to Harry, crossing his arms behind his head and closing his eyes, "Godric, it was a long day,"

"Yeah, thank Merlin we have a great strategic mind on the team, or we all would have died by now,"

Ron smirked, not opening his eyes, as he felt Harry leaning closer to him until he felt his breath on his ear, "Thank Merlin I have you," He whispered, pressing kisses along his way down the long stubble covered neck, "You need to shave,"

"I thought you were tired?" The redhead said, turning his head to give Harry easier access all the same, feeling the smirk on his skin before he was bitten. He groaned before turning his head back to the other man and capturing his lips in a passionate kiss.

However the moment was interrupted when the fireplace roared to life and Hermione appeared. They were so used to this, they didn't even jump. Just sighed and pulled away from each other,

"Good timing," Harry said,

"As always," Hermione replied,

Ron rolled his eyes, "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"I finished my work-"

"Since when is your work finishable?"

"That's not an actual word, Ron,"

Ron just raised his eyebrow and waited for her to spill it out,

"I was given the week off, all right?" She through her arms up, actually looking distraught,

"How dare they!"

"Yes! I can't believ- You're being sarcastic,"

Ron crossed his arms, smirking while Harry broke down laughing. Hermione shook her head, chuckling as she threw herself at the empty chair, looking at her two best friends with big brown eyes, "What am I supposed to do?"

"What do people normally do in their time off, Hermione?" Harry said, a smile still on his face,

"You're in a serious need of a shag,"

"Ron!" They both yelled, going red in the face for two different reasons,

"You know it's true," He stated, shrugging, "When was the last time you had a shag?"

"I'm not talking about this with you!"

"Must've been long, then."

She picked up the cushion and threw it at him, getting more flustered when he caught it easily, "Keeper here, remember?"

"I don't know why I put up with you!"

"Easy. You love me,"

Her lips twitched, but she kept her unimpressed face, "Not as much as you would think," She looked at the man sitting next to him, "Back me up, Harry,"

Harry was leaning his head on his crossed arms, watching them with an amused look on his face, "But, I'm enjoying this way too much, Hermione,"

Ron snorted, Hermione threw her arms up in an 'I give up' way.

Half an hour later, Harry got up to prepare dinner. Once he was out of earshot, Hermione sat next to Ron on the couch,

"It'll be ready by his birthday," She said quietly. Ron's face lightened up as he pulled her into his arms, "Are you sure you thought this through?"

He pulled away, looking down at her with a half-smile, "I did,"

"Ron- I still don't think you quite realize what you're doing,"

"What's he doing?"

They turned their necks so quickly, it's a miracle they didn't fall off altogether. Harry was standing before them, eyebrows raised questionably.

"Nothing."

"Work."

They both winced as Harry's eyebrows raised even higher, "Well, that's convincing," he deadpanned, looking between them, "What's going on here?"

The two sitting on the couch looked at each other before Ron, taking a deep breath, looked at Harry again, "Can't say. Will ruin the surprise."

Harry's lips twitched before he broke on a full smile, "All right then, dinner's almost ready,"

XxXxX

The sound of laugher was echoing around the garden, where the family and friends were sitting. Mrs Weasley had truly outdone herself, the food was delicious and the cake was the best thing Harry had ever tasted.

Harry looked a little closer at Ron, who was talking with Percy, little Lucy in his arms. He was glued to the image of Ron holding a child. Lucy, though, was not pleased that she doesn't have her uncle's full attention, so she grabbed his hair in her chubby hand and pulled. Ron winced before looking down at the one year old, a smile on his face as she started talking to him in her broken baby language.

Harry felt himself smiling as the two continued their conversation, and he heard Percy laughing quietly at them too. He started to wonder if he would really mind if the baby was not actually theirs. Would they love the baby any less? Would it really matter?

He was surprised when he find that no, it wouldn't. He's going to love the baby, no matter what.

He turned back to the tall redhead, finding himself unable to stop smiling. He was feeling lighter than he felt in a long time.

He needs to talk to him.

XxXxX

"Did you have good time?"

They're changing their clothes. Ron turned, watching as Harry pulled his pants up his toned legs. He walked up to him and hugged him from behind, planting kisses over his neck.

"I did. It was a great day," He turned around, "Thank you,"

Ron raised his eyebrows at him, giving him a sly smile. "But, I still haven't given you your birthday present,"

"There's something I need to talk with you about,"

"After I give you your present," he kissed the shorter man deeply, "Come with me." He grabbed Harry's arm and pulled him to the kitchen, where seven bottles filled with a purple liquid where on the table. He turned to look at Harry, who was looking confusedly at the bottles before them.

"You're going to explain, right?" He tore his eyes from the bottles to look at Ron, who nodded once and took a deep breath before saying,

"I promised you I'd find something,"

"Ron.." Harry's eyes had gone wide as he stared back at Ron.

"It's a little bit complicated," that was a lie, but Harry doesn't need to know that, "But this potion will help me get pregnant,"

Harry's face would've been funny any other time, eyes wide behind his glasses and mouth dropped open, but now Ron was already sweating with nerves. Time seemed to crawl slowly as he waited for Harry to give a reaction, he was starting to actually feel sick.

"Fucking say something!" He snapped, without really meaning to, making Harry jump a little but not lose the look of pure surprise from his face.

"I didn't know such thing was possible,"

"You barely know anything, Harry,"

He glared up at the redhead, "But something like this must have side effects!"

"It does. It creates a temporary female reproductive system inside you,"

"I mean something fatal, Ron,"

"No, nothing like that," Hermione's words were still echoing inside his head, reminding him that he can't lie to Harry about something like that. That something like this would sooner or later come back around and bite him in the arse. But Harry's face started to change from surprise to a look of pure magic as he looked at the potion again. He was looking at the potion as if it was everything he ever wanted, as if he was finally getting the thing he wanted most in the whole world.

And Ron wouldn't, and couldn't, take that away.

"I'd take it,"

"No!" It was sharper than he intended, and he quickly thought about something to cover up. Harry looked at him in surprise,

"Why is that?"

"I talked with Hermione about this potion, I know everything about it already, we don't have to go through all of this again. I'll start taking the potion tomorrow," He found himself running out of words, his excuses sounded feeble even to his own ears and Harry was looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"You're hiding something."

Ron's heart skipped a beat. He closed his eyes and nodded,

"Yeah,"

Harry crossed his arms, "Pray tell,"

"There's a chance it won't work,"

"Oh.. well, that's not as bad as I thought, we'll just have to try something else. Ron, the fact that you found the potion and would take it, for me is more than enough," He smiled brightly up at Ron, "I love you,"

Ron smiled as Harry pulled him close and hugged him tightly. "I love you, too."

He had a sinking feeling inside him and even though he's never the one to push his gut feeling aside, he did.


	3. Chapter 3

Ron was staring at the bottle in his hand. The purple potion was twinkling in the sunlit room. Swallowing hard, he took a long breath to calm himself, "Get it together, Weasley," He spook through gritted teeth, trying to collect all his Gryffindor courage and drink the potion.

He was hesitating, because now he was thinking about what really he was getting himself into. He's going to carry a baby, he's going to be pregnant, he's going to give birth. Had he really thought about it through? Can he really handle this? How will he carry a baby? He realized that maybe he needed more time to think about. Is he really ready to give up his job, because he knows if this worked he'd have to take time off. He can't be an Auror while pregnant. He worked really hard to get where he was, to prove himself, that he's not just there because he's Harry's best mate, and later lover.

He's also realized that he's going slightly hysterical.

"Ron?"

It was spoken softly, but he's already on edge so he jumped, startled and almost dropped the bottle in his hand. He looked up and found Harry staring at him worriedly. His green eyes moved from Ron's face to the bottle in his hand and a look of understanding took over his face.

"Oh," He started, "That explains it," He sat down next to Ron, grabbing his free hand in his. "You know that you don't have to do this, right?"

Ron bit his lip and looked at the potion again, because he feels like he does have to do this.

"I'm just thinking," He said, proud of his voice for not showing any of the hysteria he was feeling, "I want to do this, Harry. For us."

"Ron-"

"Just let me try for us, Harry. Just let me try. This is something we-"

_"I-"_

"- want." He looked at Harry, remembering the look on his face when he admitted why he's refusing adoption, the look when he saw the potion and just like that, the decision was made. He's doing this for Harry. " No, _we_."

He pulled his hand from Harry's grasp, took a deep breath and opened the bottle. The smell hit him immediately, while it wasn't bad, it made him lightheaded. He looked at Harry again, who was watching him patiently, nodded once before gulping down the dose.

The taste of the potion was lingering in his mouth, sweet, strong and life-changing. He took deep breaths to calm down, his doubts coming at him again. But he was willing it away, back at the dark corner of his mind. He's doing this for Harry, and he's not backing down.

 

XxXxX

 

It's stupid to think that the change would be immediate. He knows that, Hermione told him that much. He has to finish the seven doses first, then he'll experience the change, very painfully apparently.

But all that didn't stop him from staring at his naked form in the floor length mirror, trying to detect any physical change to his body. There were none of course, just like the last five days, but he still had to check.

"Are you alive in there?" The knocking on the bathroom's door was accompanied by Harry's amused voice. Ron rolled his eyes, wrapped the towel around his narrow hips, before opening the locked door, only to be met by the sight of Harry, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised, giving him an funny look. "So we're locking doors now?"

"I have an early meeting. I know if I let you in, I'll miss it," He smiled when Harry's eyebrows went higher. He stepped closer, wrapping his long arms around Harry's middle, tilting his head forward to capture the other man's lips in a deep kiss.

For a few minutes they kissed lazily, Harry's arms going around his neck as he stepped even closer. Remorsefully Ron pulled away, groaning when Harry simply moved to kiss his neck. "Meeting, Harry," He said weakly. He felt Harry's smirk on his skin. _The git_.

He finally found it in him to push Harry away, "Meeting," He said with an air of finality, he kissed Harry one last time before stepping away from the ensuite to get dressed.

"Maybe we can meet in between work for a quickie."

Ron smiled smugly while pulling his shirt on,

"Yeah, maybe."

 

XxXxX

 

Gulping down the purple potion, Ron threw the empty bottle away after finishing.

_So, that's it._

That's the last dose. He'd very soon start changing. Very soon, he might get pregnant. He swayed slightly with nerves as he thought about it. Sitting down, he looked at his breakfast with dismay. He was suddenly not hungry.

The sound of Harry's familiar footsteps made him look up just in time to see him walk into the kitchen. His hair was wet and in serious need of a haircut.

"You need a haircut," He heard himself saying.

"I do," Harry ran a hand through the wet, long hair before leaning down to kiss Ron's lips. "How are you this morning?"

"Good." He didn't sound nearly half as convincing as he wanted to. Harry gave him a once over and knelt next to him, placing his hand on the redhead's knee.

"Ron," He said, "What's going on?"

Ron could feel the eyes of his lover on him, but couldn't find it in himself to look back. He simply doesn't know what to say. He must have gotten lost in his thoughts again, because he was startled when he felt Harry's gentle touch on his face. He turned his face to Harry, and for a minute they stared at each other.

Finally, Ron said, "I just took the last dose."

Harry nodded in understanding, "You're nervous." He wasn't asking, Ron noticed. "It's all right, Ron. I'm nervous, and I'm not the one taking the potion. You don't need to hide it, or anything, not from me. Ever."

Ron just nodded, guilt like never before grabbing him from the inside, reminding him of exactly how big the secret he's keeping is.

"Want to take the day off?"

He was brought back to the present by Harry's voice. This time, he shook his head. He has a feeling he'll be needing these days off more the next few weeks, or months, depending on what'll happen next.

And if he is being honest with himself, he's afraid to find out.

 

XxXxX

 

He was in agony.

There's no other way to describe what he's feeling right now. The feeling of being torn from the inside was pretty accurate too, he guesses. For two days, he was having pain, it was expected. But this. He didn't, not even in his darkest moments, imagine it would feel like this.

This must be what the Cruciatus Curse feels like.

It was four in the morning, Harry was soundly asleep, or Ron hoped so. He was on the floor of the ensuite, back against the cold wall, legs pulled to chest. He was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from crying in pain out loud.

He could feel the tears running down his face, but he was unable to stop them. Not when it felt like the only way to express his pain right now.

He was so distracted by his pain, he didn't hear Harry calling for him, he didn't notice as the door was pushed open and Harry entered.

_"Fuck, Ron!"_

Ron looked up in shock, watching in horror as Harry dropped to his knees before him.

"You should be sleeping," was the only thing he could come up with.

Harry's hands cupped his face, his green eyes anguish.

Ron really didn't want Harry to see him like that. He wanted to push him away, tell him he's fine, that he shouldn't worry. But the pain was taking over all his senses again as the shock of seeing Harry awake faded and he couldn't for the life of him utter a word. So he simply let Harry pull him to his chest, where he laid his head, the sound of Harry's heartbeat giving him more comfort that anything else in the world.

They stayed like that for an hour.

 

XxXxX

 

Harry was lying in bed, his head resting on his hand as he faced Ron's side. The tall redhead was sleeping, but the lines was still seen in his face. Running his hand through the soft red mane, he felt his heart skip a beat in fear as he remembered the image of Ron, face blotchy, eyes red rimmed and looking like he's in too much pain. Way too much.

He begged him to go to St Mungo's, but Ron just held him closer and whispered that he just needs him to feel better.

His eyes snapped back to Ron's face as he started to wake up. He said something sleepy, but Harry only managed to catch 'time'.

"Eleven thirty," He answered after looking at the clock. Ron's eyes went wild, all sleepiness forgotten.

"Work!"

"I called in sick for both of us."

"But I'm not sick!"

"I beg to differ."

They stared at each other for a few moments before Ron looked away, wincing.

Harry sat up quickly, "Are you in pain again?"

"I'm fine, Harry."

"No, you're not fucking fine. You were not fine when I found you in the bathroom floor last night and you're not fine now, so stop lying and tell me what's going!"

Ron closed his eyes as if in pain, and with a sinking feeling Harry realized it's probably because he is.

"We're going to St Mungo's." He left no room for argument, but this was Ron. There's always room for argument when it comes to him.

"Harry, I promise you, it's all right," He slowly sat up, taking Harry's hand in his. "This means that potion is working. My body's changing. It's okay."

"You told me-"

"I know what I told you. I didn't want you to worry when there's no reason to,"

"No reason to? Ron, you're crying in pain in the bathroom at four in the morning! That's reason enough for me."

Ron smiled at him, pulling his olive skin hand to his lips, softly kissing it. "I love you,"

Harry face softened, he leaned closer, kissing Ron's lips. "I love you too."

"Since we've the day off, why don't we go out?"

"Ron, I took us the day off so you can relax and get some rest,"

"I've a feeling you don't want to go out with me. Are you sick of me, Potter?"

"Yeah, so sick. Could barely look at your face," His eyes traveled over said face, taking in the sharp cheekbones and jawline, the freckled skin, the long lashes and the big blue eyes. "Oh Merlin, you're beautiful,"

Ron flushed, like he always does, "Don't, Harry." He said quietly.

"I hope our baby looks like you," The words came out his mouth before he could stop them. Ron's eyes went wide, bluer in the sunlight falling upon them, and Harry's heart skipped a beat, for a whole different reason.

"I love you." He repeated.

 

XxXxX

 

"Mr Ronald Weasley,"

Ron stood when he heard his name and followed the MediWitch into the room. She closed the door behind her and Ron found himself frozen in his place.

"Mr Weasley, please take a seat," Said the Healer behind the dest. He was in his mid-forties, with curly black hair, dark skin and kind eyes. Ron shook his head as if to clear it before taking a seat.

"I'm Healer Young," His eyes were watching Ron carefully, "But you can call me Isaac,"

Ron nodded numbly, then snapped himself out of it. "I-" His voice was croaked so he cleared his throat, "Took a pregnancy potion."

The Healer nodded, waiting for Ron to continue. He didn't seem shocked, like he already knew, but Ron was too lost trying to find the right words to notice anything around him.

"I came for the checkup."

Healer Young just nodded again, "Would you like something to drink?"

"Just water, thank you."

The older man stood and filled a glass with cold water before handing it to Ron. He sipped the water, trying to calm his nerves.

A few minutes later, Ron was lying on the bed.

"You need to relax, Mr Weasley. There's no reason to be anxious right now."

"Ron. Just call me Ron."

"Of course, Ron." He pulled out his wand, "Are you ready?"

He nodded, pulling up his shirt. The Healer waved his wand, saying spells Ron never heard before. He closed his eyes, wanting, but unable, to relax.

"You can open your eyes, Ron." He did. "Everything looks great. I'll write you some vitamins and potions to help you through the pregnancy." He walked back to his desk as Ron got to his feet. "Please sit down,"

Ron did that.

"It's very important that you know this, Ron. Male pregnancy potions are either illegal, fatal or very dangerous, it's actually bordering on fatal. I know you already experienced pain while the change happened, and while that means a very painful, hard part is over, it's not over." He was watching Ron carefully again. "It's not going to be easy. Pregnancy is already not an easy thing, but your body is not made for it. You need to be very careful, especially later. There's also a chance it won't work,"

Ron was nodding numbly, face blank.

_'I hope our baby looks like you.'_

Harry's words echoed in his mind, giving him strength and confidence. He took a deep breath, "I already know everything about the potion, Healer Young. I still chose to take it. I'll be careful and do everything I could to keep the baby safe."

"And yourself," Isaac pointed out, "You need to keep yourself safe if you want your baby safe and healthy."

"And myself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos, comments and bookmarks, guys <3 
> 
>  
> 
> Don't forget to tell me what do you think! Thanks for reading <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Has is it really been a year..? Wow.. I'm really sorry.. Good news though, I finally got my motivation back! Hope you guys are still interested.

The sun shone brightly, lightening up the quiet kitchen, where two men where sitting, eating breakfast. The air around them was thick with tension, nearly suffocating.

Harry looked up from his half-empty plate to look at Ron, whose face was stony and eyes full of sorrow.

Two weeks and a half. It's been two weeks and a half.

And still no results.

And day by day, Ron was losing hope. He was trying to hide it, some days he manages to, but today was not one of those days, Harry could tell.

He just felt so helpless, watching the one he loves, the one who was giving everything up, his job, his time, his hard work, his body, to give Harry his most desired wish, suffering like that and not saying a word. Even hiding it.

He pushed his plate away, not hungry any more, and stood up to walk over to where Ron was sitting, pushing his food around and not eating a bite. He hugged from behind and rested his chin on the top of Ron's head.

"Stop doing that Ron, please. We knew that it was going to take time," We knew there was chance it won't work. He couldn't say it out loud though.

"We don't have time," Ron's voice was low and thick, carrying none of his usual cheerfulness that always managed to lighten the room, and to a bigger extent, Harry's life.

Harry's heart hurt at the sound. He moved to kneel next to Ron, putting his hand on his knee, as he stared at the turned down profile. He found himself leaning closer to softly kiss the corner of Ron's lips. He spoke in a whisper,

"But we have each other, don't shut me out, please,"

Ron sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes. When he opened his eyes, he looked at Harry and nodded.

"I'm sorry, it's just- I just really want it to work,"

"I do, too, but I hate seeing you like that and knowing it is because of me, I never-"

"It's not!"

"Ron, you only did this for me, I'm not so selfish as to not see that."

"You're not selfish, Harry," Ron dropped the fork and cupped Harry's face, "I did this because I love you, because it is something we both want, because there is nothing in this world I want more that having a family with you. Don't ever blame yourself for this," His heart was beating hard in his chest, because he knows how wrong it all could go at any minute, and if he's not there then to remind Harry that this was never his fault, he would do it while he still can.

XxXxX

Hermione was never one for loud parties, or crowded places. Or celebrating her birthday, for the matter. Harry and Ron never let her away with it. Sometimes they throw her a big party with their closest friends and family. Sometimes, it was just the three of them.

Just like now, where the three of them were gathered together to celebrate her twenty-eighth. There was a difference though, the air surrounding almost smelling differently. But of course it wasn't, she knew logically that it wasn't.

It was Ron's mood. And Ron's mood always affected those around. Perhaps most especially Harry and her. To his credit though, he was trying to hide it. But when has Ron ever been able to hide his emotions. Ever.

"You know, I appreciate the effort, I do! But you know you don't-"

"Shut up, Hermione."

She slammed her mouth shut and glared at Ron. "I don't fancy spending my birthday with you two being so miserable."

Ron sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. Merlin, I'm just a selfish git. I don't want to ruin your day, I just-"

She sighed. "I understand, Ron," She looked at Harry, who was staring blankly at his Firewhiskey. "Harry," She said softly. He looked up at her and blinked.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't-"

Ron suddenly stood up, his chair scratching loudly against the floor, making both Harry and Hermione wince. "Loo," He choked out before almost running to the bathroom.

Hermione shook her head before burying it in her hands. This was without a doubt the worst birthday she's ever had. Or at least up there.

XxXxX

Harry was lying in bed, waiting for Ron to finish whatever he's been doing in the bathroom for the past half an hour.

_You knew there was a chance it won't work. He keeps telling himself. You knew. You fucking knew. Don't be disappointed. Don't make Ron feel like he's to blame._

And no matter how many times he keeps repeating this to himself, he can't stop the feeling of despair that was clawing at his insides. That feeling of being so close to what you want, and losing it.

You're going to drive yourself insane. He tells himself firmly. He took a deep breath and sat up, looking at the closed ensuite door, thinking about the wall that was growing between him and Ron, his complete helplessness to do anything about it, and the feeling of despair grow more painful, suffocating him with intensity of it. He slammed his head against the headboard five times in succession.

"Have you finally gone around the bend, love?" Harry startled, and opened his eyes to find Ron pulling his nightshirt on.

"Did a long time ago, I reckon,"

"True."

"Fuck you."

"Mhm."

Harry let out a small, only slightly hysterical, laugh. Ron smiled back as he sat down on his bedside, leaning on the headboard next to Harry. He turned his head to stare at Ron's profile, wanting nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him everywhere he could reach. But he didn't. Just like all week.

"Ron," His voice was small and weak, just like how he felt. Ron turned his head, his blue eyes boring into Harry's.

"I'm so sorry it didn't work, Harry." His voice was just as small. He leaned his head a bit forward and Harry did the same, so their foreheads were touching, their eyes closed.

Because the test was negative again. The month was over and the test was negative and their last hope was lost. And it hurts. So much.

"Don't. Don't be sorry. It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault." He placed a soft kiss on Ron's lips, "I love you,"

Ron sighed, leaning back to look at Harry's face, his eyes studying his face carefully. "I know how much this is hurting you."

"Never said that it's not, Ron,"

"Never said anything, more like it,"

"Well, I'm saying now. Yes, it hurts. Because for a mad second I thought that it was going to happen. But it didn't. We still have so much options, Ron. Adoption, surrogate, hell, I could try the potion-"

"No." Ron's voice was sharp and loud,

"Ron, be reasonable-"

"We already know how useless this potion is, Harry. It's not worth it." He looked away, eyes blazing and determined. Harry pushed it aside for now and laid his head on the board shoulder beside him. "Just give us some time, it's all still so-" His voice faded, probably not able to speak anymore, or maybe just not able to find the right words.

Harry understood him just the same.

"Yeah, It is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave me your thoughts! It's always appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The feedback from the previous chapter was incredible, thank you guys so much!!!

The weeks seemed to drag by, and before they know it, it was October. The weather growing colder and grimmer, and Ron and Harry's mood grow with it, just as cold and grim.

Everyone around started to notice, no one dared to ask, and life went on as much as it could.

"Fuck."

And it was horrible.

Ron straightened up, walked to splash his face with some water and wash his mouth to get rid of the horrible aftertaste of vomit. So far, he's been having a bad week, which only seemed to get worse with every passing day.

Working more hours, because apparently it's crime season. He and Harry walking on eggshells around each other. And finally, him catching a fever. Just what he needed. Exactly what was missing.

 _Fucking perfect._ He dried his face and walked out the bathroom to the kitchen, where Harry was finishing his breakfast. Once Harry saw him, he jumped off his chair and walked over to him, cupping his face, "You look so pale, Ron, how are you feeling now?"

Ron turned his head slightly and kissed the inside of Harry's palm before pulling back and walking to sit on his vacated chair, looking at his mostly full plate with distaste, "I think I caught a fever,"

Harry sat next to him, looking at his face intently, "You didn't feel hot,"

Ron turned his head and gave him a ridiculously cheesy smile, "Thanks mate, good to hear."

Harry rolled his eyes and stood up, "Well, you git, take the day off, I will try-"

"I'm not taking the day off." Ron followed him up, but swayed a little on the spot.

"Shit, Ron!" Harry moved to steady him, "You're taking the day off," He said with an air of finality. Once Ron got his balance, he threw him a _sod off_ smile and pushed away,

" _No_ , I'm not."

They stood glaring at each other for a good minute, before Harry threw his hands up and walked angrily to the fireplace, a smug Ron on his heels.

XxXxX

Harry's used to insane plans, he really is, but even him can't help but think this is a little too much. He looked at Ron and saw him giving Roberts the same look he reckons is on his face and felt a little better. At least he's not alone. And if anyone can see the flaws in a plan, it's got to be Ron Weasley, he thought with pride.

"This is a terrible plan," Ron called over the noise in the meeting room. Everyone turned to him.

"Excuse me, Weasley?" Jake Roberts, Senior Auror, Head of the Aurors Department, replied coldly.

"Shitty plan, Sir," Ron deadpanned, and even Harry was taken back.

"Shut it, Ron," Harry hissed quietly to him, but Ron ignored him and stood, looking pale and clammy, putting both hands on the edge of the table as if to steady himself.

"If I were you, I won't say another word, Weasley," Roberts' voice was deadly calm, everyone in the room seemed to want to disappear.

"You're sending us to our death, Sir. We have no way of knowing where exactly they'll be staying in house, what wards they're using, or even if it's a trap or not. It's too risky and lacks any logic or strategy,"

"Are you going to tell me to do my job, Weasley?" Roberts snapped.

"I could, Sir," Ron pushed from the table, and even as his voice stayed steady the whole exchange, he seemed to get paler, and before anyone could react, his eyes rolled back and he fell unconscious, Harry just managed to catch him before he hit the floor.

The room became momentary airless.

XxXxX

The first thing he felt as he started to wake up was the hand running through his hair. The second was Harry's voice, soft and sweet and very far away.

Then he realized what Harry was saying, "Wake up so I can murder you, love," He winced before slowly opening his eyes and quickly shutting them again when the lights hurt them, then opening them again.

They were in Harry's office, he was lying on the couch, Harry was kneeling before him, a little smile playing on his lips, but his eyes full of concern. It was then that he remembered what happened.

"I made a fool of myself, didn't I?"

Harry nodded. Ron groaned. Shaking his head, he pushed himself up, sitting back and lowering his legs, then patting the newly empty space and looking at Harry pointedly. Harry sighed, but did just that.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me," Ron's voice was small, his head lowered as he fidgeted.

"Maybe you should go see a Healer, it could be a side-effect from the potion,"

"Yeah, maybe," His voice was even smaller, and he seemed unable to look at Harry.

"Ron," Harry turned to face him, tucking one leg under the other, one hand seeking out one of Ron's, the other turning his face so that they could look at each other, "You have been unwell for weeks, it could be something serious. Merlin, it is serious, we better find out sooner rather than later, please, Ron-"

"I'm fine, Har-"

"Like hell, you are," Harry jumped from the couch and started pacing, "Look, I hate this, okay? I fucking hate this! What are you trying to do? What if you're dying-"

"I'm not-"

"What if this is some rare disease-"

"It's not-"

"What if you're pregnant-"

"I'm fucking _not_!" Ron shouted then stood, walking over to Harry, who has stopped pacing in shock at Ron's raised voice, "I'm not, Harry, okay? It didn't work. I'm not pregnant. And while we're at it, I'm not dying, and definitely not from a rare disease, God, you're so dramatic,"

"I still say we go see a Healer," Harry's voice was patronizing, making Ron go red with anger.

"Well, if you're so determined, go see a fucking Healer and tell me what the fuck is wrong with you, since I'm sure nothing is wrong with me."

"Oh, of course nothing is wrong with you. Throwing up, paleness and fainting are signs of perfect health. How very _ridiculous_ of me to think otherwise,"

Ron gave him a stubborn look that always made Harry want to slam his head against a wall, repeatedly. He tried again, "Ron-"

"No."

Before another word was uttered, the office's door opened and a young woman stood there awkwardly. With a feeling of dread, Harry realized that they both forgot to put a silencing charm, and probably the whole department has heard their shouting-match.

"Auror Roberts is asking for you both," Just as quickly as she came, she left.

They both stood staring at the empty doorway.

XxXxX

The whole way to Roberts' office, they walked silently, stubbornly not looking at each other. When they were standing before Roberts, he ignored them for a good five minutes. Ron started to fidget again.

Once he was finished with whatever he was doing, he looked up at them, "Okay, you can both explain yourselves now,"

They both looked taken back. Ron opened and closed his mouth a few times, while Harry clenched his jaw, seemingly coming to a decision, he looked at Ron and the look on his face made him stop. His eyes pleaded with him not to say anything.

He took a deep breath and kept his mouth shut.

"I, um, I'm just feeling off, Sir," Ron gulped, "I'm sorry about what happened earlier, I was out of line, I promise it won't happen again,"

"Better not, Weasley,"

Ron nodded, "It won't, Sir."

Roberts looked him up and down, "Are you sure you're just feeling off?"

Harry clenched his jaw hard to keep his mouth shut.

"Yes, Sir"

Roberts kept looking at studiously, Ron avoided his gaze and Harry clenched his jaw even harder.

"You think you can go with the rest of the team on the raid?"

"Yes, Sir"

"You sure? You said the plan lack any logic or strategy,"

Ron flushed, "Yeah, sorry about that," He rocked on the balls of his feet once, twice, "It does lack, I dunno, _something_ ,"

"Well, you're one of our best strategical minds, go over it with Potter," His eyes went to Harry then back to Ron, "We don't want to lose them again,"

"Of course, Sir,"

His eyes went to Harry again, "Alright, Potter?"

He gave a sharp nod.

Roberts raised his eyebrows, "I want to have the plan ready by this time tomorrow, understood?" 

They both nodded. 

"Dismissed."  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to tell me what you think! Comments are always appreciated!


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